Newsflash: We interrupt your regularly scheduled Monday night to report that Frank McCourt, the asinine owner of my beloved Los Angeles Dodgers has finally sold the team. Hurrah! After mounting complaints from players and staff that McCourt had told them that gloves, bats and baseballs were unnecessary and that imagination was far more important in the game of baseball, a judge ruled that McCourt is an outrageously unfit and repetitively cartoonish owner. We reached out to Mr. McCourt at all eight of his unnecessarily vain and cavernous residences for comments but all we heard was the echo of our voices.
This fictional scenario that I've just laid out for you, oddly enough is not too far from the truth. While the Dodgers currently sit at a respectable 76-76 record, the financially crippling divorce between Frank McCourt and Jamie McCourt has left our team painfully mediocre and damn near broke. We have not been able to attract top-notch talent in some time (I choose to ignore the whole Mannywood debacle) and we could face the very sobering prospect of losing both an MVP candidate in Matt Kemp (*a big deal*), who you may remember was Rihanna's rebound after the 2009 GRAMMYs incident (I'm looking in your direction Chris Brown!) and Cy Young Award candidate (given to the best pitcher in the league, *a huge deal*) Clayton Kershaw.
Mark Cuban we need you!
I can't believe that LaLa hasn't forced that bum out yet...people are too busy watching Dancing with the Stars now to care how much of a degenerate he is. Also, it doesn't help that the Dodgers have gone 35-21 since the All-star break. We need to get our inspiration from "Wild Thing" and start intentionally losing to finally ship him to Australia for good! -B-
ReplyDeleteWoah, for a second there you fooled me into thinking McCourt really sold the Dodgers! I don't get it, does he enjoy being the most hated man in Los Angeles?
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