What. A. Day. From tailgating to watching USC pummel Syracuse to pay-per-viewing the much anticipated bout between unbeaten Floyd Mayweather and youngin Victor Ortiz, one can certainly keep busy in the sports world on a Saturday. But tonight, let's discuss "the fight".
I'm going to begin by shamelessly admitting that I was in your shoes this afternoon. I overheard someone reference "the fight" and the only bell that rang in my head was, oh man, another boxing match. I didn't know who was fighting or why people were so excited to actually pay money to tune-in, so rather than avoiding the situation like the plague and choosing to snuggle up with my boyfriend in our luscious California king bed (with Hotel Collection sheets and down comforter), I decided to hang with the crowd that was interested in "the fight", ask some questions and whet my sports appetite. Here's what I learned:
1. Floyd Mayweather is incredibly pompous. The man burns money. Literally (my attorney cousin confirmed that burning money is illegal).
2. Floyd is 34 years old and is undefeated in his professional boxing career (impressive) but...
3. He's pals with 50 Cent and the two millionaires lead ridiculously lavish lives (as in, Floyd got paid $40 million for showing up to this fight in Vegas - win or lose).
4. Victor Ortiz is 24 years old, fairly well spoken, and is a native of Kansas...strange, I know, but just go with it...
So now onto what actually took place in the ring (after both "The Star-Spangled Banner" and the Mexican National Anthem were belted by some no-namers in miniskirts and yes, Christina Aguilera was in the crowd probably cringing through both renditions...but to be fair, who knows if she would've remembered the words anyway). Okay, let's start with the fact that Floyd was wearing what looked like a pumpkin / candy corn fur coat before he stripped down to his pumpkin / candy corn boxing shorts and he looked so absurd that it was comical. Ortiz was wearing a silver jumpsuit with the Kansas Jayhawks logo on the butt of his silver, equally embarrassing shorts. In short, here are some of my observations of "the fight" tonight. The bell dings and the two men start to jab. Initially, I was impressed by the speed of these guys (particularly Mayweather) and their constant dodging and weaving, interspersed with flurries of hooks and punches. Next, I noticed that the the score of the fight was being calculated by the percentage of hits (or blows) landed on the opponent...or until one fighter landed a knock-out (KO), which is when a fighter is unable to get up unassisted after being floored by the count of ten. But here comes the drama *dun dun dun*. Ortiz delivered an illegal head butt to Floyd! This was followed by Ortiz properly apologizing to Floyd and they appeared to kiss and make-up. Then, when the ref had his head in the clouds, Mayweather delivered a one-two combination which sent Ortiz to the floor. Picture cartoon birds spinning over his head. At that point, "the fight" was over.
One last thing. Floyd was interviewed shortly following his KO by HBO boxing analyst Larry Merchant. Floyd thanked the lord, his thoroughly pissed pay-per view subscribers, and then when asked about his final, controversial KO, he insisted that after you engage gloves, you have to protect yourself at all times. Ok great, but then he lost it and shouted at Larry, "You never give me a fair shake. HBO need to fire you. You don't know s--- about boxing. You ain't s---! You're not s---! To which the 80-year-old Merchant replied: "I wish I was 50 years younger and I'd kick your ass." Classic.
No comments:
Post a Comment